I Am Not the Other Woman

It is true that my husband and I knew each other for many years before we ever became romantically involved. Outside of a schoolgirl crush on my part though, we were never an item. In 2001, I moved to New Zealand from America. That’s right, an entirely different country on an entirely different continent. My now-husband and I were in sporadic contact at best- a vague MySpace comment, a postcard here and there but nothing in depth. In 2003, my now-husband and Carl’s biomom begin casually dating. Three months later, Carl was conceived on my husband’s birthday. They decided to move in together for Carl’s sake but did not marry. (I think it may be important to mention that Carl has an older half sister; who did not live with his biomom.) In 2004, my stepson was born. The following year, Carl’s biomom and my husband split for good. In the summer of 2006, my husband was awarded full custody. In the FALL of 2006, I moved back to the United States. As old friends, my now husband and I met for lunch several months later. It would be a couple of months after that where we started conversing regularly. To this day, I still get accused of breaking up my husband and Carl’s biomom’s marriage even though 1) they were never married and 2) I wasn’t even in the country during their breakup or custody trial. It would be another year after I returned before my husband and I even begin dating in earnest. A lot of the accusations come from the personal saga woven by Carl’s biomom and some of it comes with society’s perception of stepmother’s in general. My husband and I took things very slowly for Carl’s sake and not a single moment of our relationship was done without considering him and his needs. So you can imagine how upsetting this can be for Carl when he overhears these stories; Stories that have no merit to them whatsoever. Just because I am a stepmom, doesn’t mean I stole another woman’s husband. Sometimes we just come along after to pick up the pieces and shoulder the baggage as best we can. If anything, I am a street sweeping concierge and not a home-wrecking whore.