Sometimes, Love Is Not Enough

Love makes the world go round. Actually, no, that’s inertia and a whole slew of complicated NASA jargon I won’t even pretend to have mastered. I do know that the Earth is moving at approximately 1,040 miles per hour. Well above the 65 speed limit on most major highways. And roughly 2,000 miles per hour slower than stepfamily life. I love my husband. I am madly, passionately, head over heels in love with my husband. There is almost nothing I wouldn’t do for him (I say almost since eating Brussels sprouts or anything with eel is still out). But no matter how much I love him, the love in itself is not enough to keep me in this crazy, chaotic stepmom life. So, hypothetically of course, imagine that you are flitting through life with nary a care in the world. You have just completed four college degrees in three years (no, I did not stutter), you have just renovated an entire house, you just gave a speech in the Senate, your greatest concern is how you will get your hair done this week, and life is going great. Then you get a phone call for a family emergency that brings you scurrying back to your loved ones. You return home and start over. Then in walks the man of your dreams *trumpet flare*. Only hiccup is that not only are you polar opposites but he comes with baggage- a LOT of baggage. But love conquers all so you jump on the back of his white horse and off you gallop into the sunset. Only thing is that now you have to unpack. Did I mention that your new husband has a lot of baggage? Yeah, a LOT. Looootttssss. I’m talking full Louis Vuitton matching International set with extra pieces… in several different shades of crazy. In bag one you unpack his mistrust in the entire female species. Bag two looks handy from the outside but you open it to find an overbearing, passive-aggressive, barb throwing mother-in-law. Bag number three is the heaviest of the bunch and you find your once seemingly invincible new husband has an incurable disease that he will die early from. Bag number four is misshapen and won’t fit anywhere so it’s left in the hall for you to continually bump into- we’ll call this the baby mama drama purse. And the rest just stacks to the ceiling as time goes by. So what is enough to keep me here? Why do I stay? I made a promise of “in good times and in bad” with no caveats dictating the percentages for each that must be maintained at all times. I am committed and I dedicated my life to these two boys, come what may (insert Nicole Kidman lilting Mouln Rouge singing voice here). And because they need me and I need them. Life as a Kensington has not been easy. My husband and I are still madly, passionately in love but we had to find a solid foundation. It started with trust, open communication and a willingness to respect one another’s opinions regardless of how very different they may be. It is all wrapped up in strength and ability to lean on one another when we need to. Love is not enough without loyalty, respect, hard work, friendship, solidarity, belief in one another and strength. When you have all of that, then you have enough to make your world truly go round. Without those things, we stall.