NMKNMP

I really bristle at this expression from fellow stepmoms. NMKNMP stands for “Not My Kid, Not My Problem”. And while I realize that it is sometimes necessary for stepmoms to step back, I disagree that any child in any household is not the responsibility of every adult within that home. Let me qualify that with there are many different levels of stepmom involvement but even at the very basic level, I don’t know how someone could step completely out of a child’s life that is a part of their family altogether. Perhaps it’s difficult for me since I am a fully participatory and active stepmother whereas BM isn’t really involved. I wish that anyone involved in a child’s life could take on an active role to be there for the child though. Grandparents, Aunts/Uncles, Cousins, Step-parents, Siblings… be a cheerleader, be present, show your support, be a positive role model. I can’t imagine that having more people in your life to love and support you would ever be a detriment to a child. I can’t imagine telling your stepchild s/he can’t have dessert until they clean their room would be overstepping any more than that child’s teacher telling your child that s/he can’t go to recess until they pick up their puzzle. Could you imagine that every time a teacher had to impose a consequence or address a behavior them calling the principal? Or grandma having to call the police because the child won’t eat their vegetables? It seems silly to me. You should not have a loss of control in your own home because you are worried about control issues. As a parent, we should encourage the other adults in our child(ren)’s lives to be there to show them right from wrong. We need words of guidance as much as we need words of encouragement; in all places, at all times. I know for me personally, I don’t need another parent at the playground to come find me to tell Carl not to eat the cat poop out of the sandbox- please, by all means, tell him “no” and then come find me to let me know what happened. You’re an adult, please be a positive influence in our child’s life if for some reason we are unavailable. If this is your home, you need to understand that ETTIYKTCISAPOYHAF: Even Though This Isn’t Your Kid, The Child Is Still A Part Of Your Home And Family.